by Richard Manetta
21. January 2010 14:50
Well, the last couple of months have been fairly low-key. My next CT scan is at U of M in April. We finally got the hassle of being able to flush my port monthly in Reed City over and done with. I've been feeling the 'normal', nothing too excessive, but still sick about half the time. I've been taking anti-depressants for a number of months now and they seem to help with the lows not being as 'low', but I still have frequent bouts of ill thoughts. I keep remembering how painful the tumors have been, almost dying when that blood clot broke open, all the poking and prodding... I try to stay strong and know God has a purpose for all of us, but it's really difficult at times when I'm surrounded by people who've never even had an IV before, let alone like a hundred. Sex is everywhere in the media and in our gutter sense of humor, but it's a constant reminder that I can't have a child and can't even 'get it up' for that matter.
Eh, I need to get it out of my head. What else is new... well, Brianne's brother CJ and his family moved back into the house. This time we moved all of our stuff into the basement. We cleaned it all up, built shelving...even put up little ghetto walls to help retain heat. Living in the basement is rough when it's a frigid 57 degrees all the time. We're trying to heat it up, but without insulated walls, it never seems to get there. Ah well, we have lots of blankets and warm doggies.
Medicare will be starting up in February. This should help us save money in the long run. My long term disability company got the appeal information I sent them, but replied that it could take up to 45 days to review it and come back with a response.
I'm sure I'm forgetting stuff, but that's all I can think of for now. I'm trying to stay positive, but it doesn't always happen that way. I miss... well, everyone. Living closer to my wife's family might be great for Brianne and it might be great that it's 'out of the city', but it just puts me further from my family and friends. I miss getting together with Bobby for cards or a movie on the weekends. I miss getting to see my parents every couple of weeks or so. I miss seeing Corey or even the rest of my family a few more times a year... dang it... I'm supposed to stay positive!!!
Well, to all my family and friends, I love you and pray God keeps us all strong with life's difficuties. Thank you all for your constant support and prayer. It means a lot to me!
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